January 4, 2010
Spamming the New Year
• As a public service to my fans (all three of you) for the new year, I decided to toss out some handy tips by which you may chose to employ at your own risk. Don't say I didn't warn you.
• Being the cinematic equivalent of a hot librarian is something to be cherished. At least as much as free Wi-Fi.
• But if you're the kind of hot librarian who has developed and distributed PowerPoint files concerning your hot-librarianness, your coworkers probably review this article after they've hit the delete button on your e-mails.
• Or maybe those coworkers tell you that you look like Denise Richards in glasses. Maybe that's not such a compliment.
• Christmas bills staring you in the face? Try developing a signature scent for the hipster market.
• Need an action-packed comic about early spring mulching? Talk to this librarian.
Finally: Take a cue from Gwendolyn Taylor-Davis, 2002 New York Times Librarian of the Year, who loves kickin' it old skool:
October 21, 2009
The Truth About Sex and Librarians
Everyone wants to have sex with a librarian.
Or it seems like everyone wants to flirt, date, sleep with, or just plain hit on librarians, even other librarians, apparently. Why the sudden interest in our profession as a potential booty call farm team? Maybe it's due to the fact that in the past few years, the stereotype has evolved an interesting wrinkle: the winsome lass with the ironically prim fashion sense and a brain--though truth be told, those hankering for this professional equivalent of a rainbow unicorn view the latter requirement as merely sprinkles on top of the hook-up cupcake.
But like your first kiss or a close inspection of a post-millennial cast member of a vampire movie series, the fantasy may be waaay better than the reality. For those unfamiliar with the possibly deflating reality, I present as a public service, the truth about dating librarians:
Fantasy #1: (500) Days of Delusion
Walking to the circulation desk, you spot a Zoe Deschanel lookalike with elbows propped against the counter, her Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker glossed lips framed by slim fingers as she reads Silas Marner before you. Your sudden presence startles her, causing her agate-blue irises to widen with surprise. She smiles knowingly into your eyes when she spots a copy of the latest Chuck Palahnuik novel tucked under your exquisitely tatted arm. Your mouth drops as she springs to attention, shyly pulling an adorable yellow cardigan with hand-crocheted rosettes across her chest and asks if you need help. In your hormonal confusion, you vaguely wonder at the fact that of all the people staffing the desk, she's the only one allowed to park her bike (girl's model with a wicker basket and felted handlebar steamers) right behind her. You manage to corral the words careening across your brain like psychotic ping-pong balls into a coherent sentence, one asking her to join you to a Spike Jonze video retrospective at the fixie-bike/punk knitting collective across the street. She blushes at your audaciousness then agrees, grabbing her bike and pushing it past book shelves and out the door, leaving staff and patrons with overdue notices wondering just what the heck is going on.
The Reality
After waiting 30 minutes in line because a patron up front demanded staffers wrap each book she checked out in Safeway grocery bags and wouldn't give up until the supervisor intervened, you reach the circulation desk. You lock eyes with a forty-something woman wearing a "I'm Bringing Reading Back!" t-shirt and earrings that look suspiciously like fish skeletons. As you hand over a stack of Terry Pratchett books, she holds a trade paperback up to her nose. "Wow," she murmurs, "these don't smell like cigarettes!" She stares at you quizzically, as if you were a sentient poodle, one that may have companionship potential or at least the ability to pay attention though a dinner at Olive Garden.
You are smitten. You stammer as she frantically waves the barcode scanner over the back of each book. Blushing, you reach for the stack and accidentally brush her hand, one chafed from years of wiping down story time playsets in the children's room. "Coffee?" Your mind reels with visions of the two of you indulging in intense discussions about the authenticity of Renaissance faires while sipping modestly-priced coffee drinks.
"WHAT??" Your one true love screams as she's moved on to waiving the scanner over a pile of Goosebumps books shoved in front of her by the annoyed woman standing next to you, the one staring daggers at the back of your uncombed head. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE BEEPING." You are startled since, quite frankly, the beeping from the scanner isn't all that loud. Her co-workers? They barely notice since she's been talking that way for years....
Next Time: Dating Male Librarians, or: "Are you going to finish that?"
September 12, 2009
Hawaii State Public Library Needs Your Aloha
The Hawaii State Public Library System is facing a tough situation: with the latest operating budget voted down, the System is now attempting to meet a budget reduction of 20% ($3.58 million according to HSPLS; $6 million according to the Honolulu Advertiser. To meet the new restrictions, HSPLS has frozen over 70 vacant positions and contemplating furlough days. To meet the challenge, HSPLS and the Friends of the Library of Hawaii have launched campaigns to meet the monetary challenge: "Keep Your Library Open!' and "Keep the Doors Open!". Both campaigns are looking for tax-deductible donations, with the Friends of the Library asking for as little as $3 from Hawaiian state residents, though I'm sure they wouldn't turn away outside contributions.
Why am I putting the word out when so many public libraries are facing similar crises? Because if there are closures, temporary or permanent, many residents may be forced to use branches hours away from their homes, such as the previous proposal to close the Hana branch, which would have meant a three-plus hour drive the the closest branch. The proposal was voted down, but temporary closures for the system still loom. And there are many small towns across the islands which may face the same situation.
So I'm asking all of you to give Hawaiian pubic libraries a big aloha by donating money today, even if it's $3. Think about it: that's the same price as a box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts from the ABC Stores and way cheaper than a jello shot from a Waikiki bar. And unlike the jello shot, you'll remember the donation long after your next Hawaiian vacation.
August 21, 2009
Shushing Alert Courtesy of New Times Broward-Palm Beach
The New Times Broward-Palm Beach gets massive eye-rolling from the LL for its "The Juice"
blog posting about librarians and layoffs. The snarkiness I don't mind, but did they have to use a beyond-tired stereotype pix of a frazzled-hair, shushing librarian to emphasize the point?
July 25, 2009
A New Superhero at ComicCon?
Spotted by Defamer at ComicCon:
 |
Caption states she's a "real" librarian, but everyone knows a real librarian would tote back-up copies of the plush anime figure in the messenger bag, along with a fistful of freebie pens that will last for only one reference shift.
July 15, 2009
Can't We All Just Get Along?
When a librarian acts as crossing guard, people get upset.
When a library assistant tells patrons to keep it down, people get arrested.
When librarians plan a panel discussion on a potentially sensitive issue, people get upset. Real upset.
But when librarians are pressed into moving a library in the most inefficient way possible, they don't get upset. Or arrested:
July 1, 2009
Librarianship: A Prescient Profession
Over the past few days I've noticed a disturbing trend within our profession over the past year: the need to incorporate Michael Jackson tributes at professional functions. Here's the National Library of Australia's"Thriller" tribute, incorporating book carts:
Here's Santa Monica Public's entry at last year's ALA Book Cart Drill Team competition:
How did they know? Or was it coincidence, driven by the fact that in our day-to-day lives, we who work in libraries always succumb to the opportunity to waive our hands claw-like over book carts for massive props?
June 29, 2009
Can This Librarian Blame it on the Boogie?
Even librarians are unable to resist commemorating a pop culture icon. Well, French librarians, anyway:
June 26, 2009
But What Do We Do When There's No Pole Around?
In post-millennial Hollywood, librarians are one-half of the Madonna/whore equation:
June 24, 2009
But Can They Make it Work in the Stacks?
What's Tim Gunn doing with a bunch of teenagers at The New York Public Library? He didn't make headlines on TMZ, but Tim and NYPL did help six aspiring fashion designers hone their fierceness with tips and resources for all things fashion:
Unfortunate Library-Related Headline of the Year (so far): Note to prospective editors: before printing a headline, make sure to run it through your mental what's-wrong-with-this-headline? filter first.
June 21, 2009
A Profession No One Understands
So why aren't people of color flocking to the profession? For the same reasons other folks aren't: low pay and a general lack of knowledge about what we do. According to a white paper published by ACRL on this very topic, the biggest factor for minorities applying to library school is prior work experience in a library--in other words, direct exposure to the work. This shouldn't be a surprise: for those of you in the bibliographic trenches, consider how many times some has expressed surprise when learning the person scanning their book at the circ desk isn't a librarian, or there are even graduate programs for the field.
But what concerns me are two things: why is it our profession is a cipher to the public, including long-time patrons? And why does my previous question continue to go unanswered? So much has been written about the public's perceptions of (or lack of interest in) what we do, but other than roll our eyes and chat endlessly about it during vendor lunches at ALA, we don't do a whole lot of explaining to the masses. Sure, we've been pretty decent at seizing the moment when it comes to library use, or publicizing our beliefs (intellectual freedom, digital divide, etc.), but we're not so hot at communicating about what exactly we do. Ask anyone outside a library to describe what a librarian does: the answer will inevitably be shelving and/or checking out books. Reference services? Maybe from a savvier user. Cataloging? Forget it.
So why do we toil and complain in obscurity? Posters of friendly, young and (at times) non-white librarians, library staff and patrons abound in our work spaces, but where are the posters that illustrate the job? We have plenty of scholarships in the hopes of enticing minority students into the profession, but how effective are they when the general public give us a blank stare if pressed to describe the work we do?
Maybe it's time for us to do a little educating....
March 26, 2009
A Profession White People Like
About a month ago I was discussing the phenomena of hipster librarians to a librarian-friendly individual with more than a passing interest in the topic. As I was running through my criteria of what makes a librarian hipster-like (knitting, iPhone, retro attire), I mentioned one criterion I thought might make her pause: being white.
She didn’t bat an eye (actually, this was over the phone, so it was the aural equivalent of no eye-batting). No disagreement at all--in fact, she understood me perfectly.We both knew that when it comes to describing (or portraying) the Brave New World of Librarianship, its denizens seem to be overwhelmingly Caucasian
Yes, I’m segueing into the perennial topic of diversity and librarianship.We all know the back story: the profession’s commitment to diversity when serving patrons as well as amongst its troops. We have ALA offices. We have awards.We even have conferences. So why is it when we (and more importantly, the public) think of librarians old and young, we think white? And judging from the literature, why haven’t we made much of a dent in the profession, much less the stereotype?
I have some opinions, of course, but they just might surprise you.
To be continued—
Video of the Week Dept: Note to library directors: this is what's going on with your baby librarians when you’re at those pesky off-site meetings:
